The Stanford Flipside
The Stanford Flipside is Stanford University's first student-run satirical magazines. I wrote for the Stanford Flipside my freshman and sophomore years (2014 to 2015).
Note: these articles are satirical and are not meant to be taken seriously.
Area Boy Admitted into Stanford; Area Community Still Unimpressed
January 14, 2015: As one of the most selective schools in the world, Stanford University is known for admitting only the most talented individuals - except, according to sources close to him, recent admit Harry Enright. In interviews with the Flipside, they bemoaned his vocabulary, his preference to read People Magazine rather than the Aeneid in its original Latin, and his lack of instant gains in IQ immediately after receiving his Stanford acceptance letter.
Inside the Life of a Stanford Tour Guide with an 11:00 Tour
November 5, 2014: Stanford tour guides have seen it all, from jokes about walking backwards to extoling the safety of their school just as school bus goes by in flames to repeating historical facts about Stanford that no one listens to anyway. And yet, the one thing that a Stanford tour guide can never seem to master is to convince any visiting parent that they, mere students themselves, actually have no say when it comes to admission decisions.
The Flipside's Tips for Flu Season
October 29, 2014: So you're sick - you look awful, you feel awful, and everyone in your dorm is treating you like the pariah that you are regardless of your health.
The Flipside offers some tips to how to make the most of that runny nose, scratchy throat, and hoarse voice. Just make sure to save the Gatorade for the actual athletes - and no, you're definitely not one of those.
A Note From Your Friendly R.A.
October 24, 2014: Stanford is full of wonders for freshmen: from Palm Drive to Memorial Church to the free laundry machines that most of them don't know how to use anyway. And one of those wonders is having someone who is barely older than they are enforcing rules around living in the dorms.
But at least those innocent little freshman know that they can always care their friendly R.A for anything - even if, in the process, they just happen to interrupt his senior-year existential crisis.
Grass Missing at Enchanted Broccoli Forest
June 4, 2014: As the campus pretties itself for public adoration on graduation day, one aspect of the perfect Stanford façade is conspicuously out of place: the grass outside of Stanford's best-known stoner dorm simply will not grow. Even the weeds don't stick around for more than a few hours. And, with both the weeds and the grass gone, all that's left outside that undergraduate residence, according to Facilities Manager Bill Johnson, is "the stoners…err, I mean, the rocks.”
Breaking News: Roommates have Stimulating Conversation about the Weather
May 28, 2014: What's worse than having a complete stranger for a roommate? Having to talk to that complete stranger. Fortunately, Leo Harolds' brief interaction with the young man who sleeps in the other bed in their one-room double was limited only to a short exchange one Tuesday in May about the weather. The conversation consisted of 17 sentences, took place over a single minute, and no doubt left both boys socially scarred for life.
Busy Stanford Student Struggles to Find Time to Work: An Inside Look
November 6, 2014: Stanford students can manage it all - if that "all" consists of spending the afternoon eating, sleeping, and believing their own lies about having plenty of time to do their homework.
Mother Questions Stanford's Safety After Hearing Assassins on the Loose
May 12, 2014: All parents are nervous about sending their child off to college - because only they know the extend of trouble their dear child, their flesh-and-blood, the utter joy of their life, can cause - but Stanford parent Martha Blunt had a whole new range of concerns when she learned that assassins were on the loose at her only son, Jeremy's, freshmen dorm.
Blunt couldn't believe the nonchalant attitude that the Stanford administration had towards, and the last that the Flipside saw of the family was Jeremy meekly trying to convince his parents, as they dragged him out of his dorm and off campus for good, that "Assassins" was really only a "game".
May Flowers found dead; April Showers' Disappearance to Blame
May 7, 2014: Remembered for being young and full of life, May Flowers was found dead on the first day of this month. Authorities believe that "natural menace" April Showers is to blame. They warn communities that Showers, in an attempt to move over several states, has changed her name to Summer Drought and that everyone should keep their eyes peeled for any sign of Drought and the threat that she might bring over the next few months.
Trio of Hobbit Movies Not Enough for You? Good News- “LOTR” is Back!
September 23, 2014: Despite the obvious cash-grab nature of sequels, Director Peter Jackson has decided to jump on this trend and create a new trio of movies for "The Lord of the Rings", picking up directly after the events of "The Return of The King". Jackson shared some of his ideas with The Flipside but, at press time, had yet to decide whether he should stick with a traditional ring for the titular piece of jewelry or whether he should consider updating it to a earring or a belly-button ring to ensure that Tolkien's world of wizards, elves, and walking, talking trees accurately reflects modern culture.
Stanford Students: “Polar Vortex is No Reason to Exclude Us!”
January 31, 2014: One of the few elite institutions in the United States that is not on the East Coast, Stanford finds itself being frozen out by its Eastern brethren. Stanford students cite the latest polar vortex as proof that that the other side of the country needs to chill out with its constant pleas for attention from November until March every year and learn to respect the trials and tribulations of those who have to see the sun nearly every single day instead.
Stanford Girl on the Bachelor: “I Want To Be Judged On My Body For Once!”
January 13, 2014: What can you do when you're known only for your dazzling wit, fluency in three languages, and master's degree?
You can go on reality TV, of course. Read why Stanford student Julia Seymour joined the cast of ABC's The Bachelor - and why she wants to be judged for her body and not for her brain, for once.